Greetings otherworlders and Lily Allen (bitch!). I've an update on my oh-so-normal life, which has been tragically ruined by my Monkey Butler, Clive. I've known Clive 6 months now, since we found him eating paint in a bin, he gave us a knowing look and offered us a lick... we took him home, cleaned him with Crisp and Dry... he loved it. Anyways, the little ****er has just bitten me, when I was feeding him a pop tart... he grabbed our telly, and legged it through the window. I don't know if I'm upset or angry.
Monkey Butlers are rare, and once you've trained them to bring tea, biscuits and Anasol, they're priceless. I would have caged him, but when I gave him a box to sleep in he totally flipped and swallowed my keys. We had to wait 3 days on the front lawn until the droppings came out (when I was shouting at him for humming a Lulu song).
As he drove off in my Fiance's car, I felt a pang of sorrow over the rage, and I put the riffle down. Perhaps he'd come back, maybe when he's kicked the smack and windowlicking. He was a remarkable little bugger, and any animal that can whistle whiles urinating into a neighbours letterbox is okay by me. Clive, if you're reading this, come home.
Monkey Butlers are rare, and once you've trained them to bring tea, biscuits and Anasol, they're priceless. I would have caged him, but when I gave him a box to sleep in he totally flipped and swallowed my keys. We had to wait 3 days on the front lawn until the droppings came out (when I was shouting at him for humming a Lulu song).
As he drove off in my Fiance's car, I felt a pang of sorrow over the rage, and I put the riffle down. Perhaps he'd come back, maybe when he's kicked the smack and windowlicking. He was a remarkable little bugger, and any animal that can whistle whiles urinating into a neighbours letterbox is okay by me. Clive, if you're reading this, come home.
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